Quote:
Originally Posted by always_pushing
In regards to BPD the things I DO NOT struggle w/ are:
self harm, suicidal thoughts/tendencies; only minor impulsivity.. no excessive spending, drugs or sex; I don't have any crazy, intense anger no fights, no outbursts, no getting physical; no serious levels of paranoia
The things I do have in regards to BPD:
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships
Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
Chronic feelings of emptiness
so I am kind of on the fence.. I definitely have some of the traits, but I also don't have some.. ugh.
I am going to see my Dr on the 10th. I have not been on meds for approx 6 mo.. I have xanax .5 that I can take PRN, but being in the profession and knowing how addicting benzos can be for some, I try to use only when absolutely necessary. (that's just me)
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to be diagnosed with BPD you only have to have a certain number of the traits, not necessarily all of them. Best way to find out is to find a doctor and get a diagnosis.
As for your relationship with this man, try to get into the mindset that life, relationships and love all have good and bad, ups and downs. And accept it. i say this because from what you say I feel that you might in your mind expect a sort of fantasy world with your loves and it's just not that way, not all of the time. I feel that maybe you give up and quit when it's not fitting into this image in your head.
That will take time though, and likely counseling to change your thinking. And even then it will always be somewhat of a battle for you. Trust me, I fight it on and off still and I'm not doing too badly in general.
