Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
I think I was acutely aware of my mom's behaviours by the time I was 11. I was aware of a lot of things even younger than that. It's just always been how she is and I was learning more every year that it really wasn't how everyone was. By the time I was in highschool (probably around age 16?) I finally started to figure out that it wasn't my fault.
I only read about NPD properly this summer and it was like ".... that's my mom" when I was reading that one article I posted to you. So she isn't diagnosed and I don't know if she would be diagnosed, or if she just has a LOT of strong tendencies.
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I was somewhat aware of my moms behavior since maybe 12/13, but all I could tell was she was not normal like my friends parents & at times wishing I had my friends mom as my mom. Within the last year is when i began to notice that things were not my fault & she will blatantly lie and try to put her insecurities on my plate. Part of me being able to connect the dots was:
1) Worked for an eye doctor who is the textbook definition of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. I was the only one who wasn't fearful & intimidated by him. Most of his employees had been there for years & the only reason why I wasn't scared of him like the other 9 employees was bc of my mom. I already knew my mom was very insecure which is why she bullies & so I was able to make that connection about the Dr as well.
2) About a week ago I was telling my therapist I felt my mom's behavior is identical to my former employer's & she had described him as someone who has NPD.
Which reminds me I forgot to tell you in my first thread when you posted the link about traits of people with NPD & how you basically highlighted almost all for your mom......I had actually found the same exact list but on this website
http://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/surviving-the-narcissistic-parent-acons-adult-children-of-narcissists
And I could literally check my mom off on each one, even to some of the examples that were used. Having read that list is why I joined this forum bc from the info I read, that no one can truly understand what you are going through & I felt alone.
I took the list in to my last therapy appt. As far as her being diagnosed by a mental health professional in her own evaluation, then no, and trying to get her to have a consultation to be diagnosed, well I'm sure a lot of you guys on this forum can relate when I say "mission impossible."
This might sound odd, but I wish she was more of having lots of NPD tendencies(rather than having NPD) like both my brother in law and sister in law bc then I would feel hopeful that overtime I could have some sort of "closer" connection with my mom. I have a closer emotional bond with both of them than her & my sister in law is going to therapy too to help her.