Quote:
Originally Posted by bird_lover
Please forgive me for this post.....I just need to vent before I go insane. I am sure my dad is going to divorce my mom very soon. I thought he should have before, I thought he knew everything that happened in their relationship, what she has done to me and my younger brother, but my dad did not know the whole story until a few days ago. My mother has lied to him time and time again. I have PTSD from her cheating and I seriously think I am going to vomit if I start to think about it a lot.....My mom had 3 boyfriends that I remember. I have constant flashbacks of it, the one guy actually hit me and my mom did nothing to stop it. Today my dad thought it would help me get beyond this if he drove me to those houses....he started down the road. He had no idea I remembered the roads and the flashbacks started. I told him what I saw, how mom was so happy with those men and promised her life to them, each of them......
So tonight when my mom gets home, my dad might confront her. He wants to talk to my brother first, but he has not called back yet, as he is still at work in SC (we are in PA). I just want to know.....I have experienced turmoil and uncertainty in my parents' marriage before. I begged my dad to leave but I never said why. This time he knows. He said this time him and I might just buy a house in NC and move and start over. What is divorce like? My dad will need a psychiatrist and a therapist to help deal with this, that I know. How do I help him??? My mom blames me for everything already (even though I have not brought this up in over 5 years) and has recently told me I should check myself into a psych ward yet again.... Just wanting to know what to do to help support my dad....I can see the pain in his eyes when I look at him. I am just wondering what all hell is gonna break loose later. I am scared. I am 31. This all happened to me when I was 4, 5, and 6. I am just now dealing with it.....my mind is forcing me to.....any suggestions on how to support my dad would be much appreciated. My mom cut him off from all his friends....she has severe mental illness......sigh.  |
I am so sorry for all of this that you've been through. and as a father who's had 2 wives, one that cheated without a doubt, the other I'm pretty mucn 99% sure did.. I can tell you that the easier part of it is probably the divorce. having to deal with the idea that he'd been lied to and cheated on and is just how finding out is going to be the hardest part for him. The betrayal is very painful.
Be there for him. You can't make this go away, you can't take the pain away he'll have to get through it in time. And make no mistake it does take time. Nothing you can do to speed up the process but he will need your support very much. Just be there to listen and hear him out, be there to let him cry on your shoulder as I know there will be many days like that ahead. Just do what you can to make it so at least his challenges ahead will not be faced alone.
That's really all you can do.
My heart goes out to you and especially your father.
S4