I'd been wanting to cry all throughout last hour, but I don't like crying in front of people so I waited until I got home. I turned on Fiona Apple, grabbed a pillow, and just let loose. It felt really good to let out that bottled up everything inside of me.
I'm definitely falling into another episode. I can feel it in my bones. I once wrote that the difference between plain sadness and depression is that you feel the depression deep inside of you, that it mixes with the marrow in your bones. I didn't realize at the time I was slightly referencing Fiona Apple.
"That's where the pain comes in, like a second skeleton, trying to fit the need for skin..."
Slightly, but I can tell you that's where my subconscious got that idea from.
This stinks. I have my stepbrother's birthday party tomorrow and I don't want to be sad when I go. I was hoping I could stay normal - neither up nor down - but obviously that was a bit too much to ask.
Blech. Oh well. My weekend shouldn't be too bad. I've got a few other awesome things planned for tomorrow. Hopefully they will be enough to distract me from my mood.