Don't minimize, your own hurts and pains from this, by virtue of 'perspective.' The hurt I felt, from the break up of that first mentioned relationship, was significantly more painful, for me. I had hopes and dreams, with that one.

Granted, I had hopes and dreams in marriage, but such a relationship as that, dies a slow and steady death, so that when it's over, it's not that same intense break up feeling. The extra time off, and the therapy, was more about the warnings given to those who have been victimized, to not rush into anything else, too quickly until you recognize all the things, that led up to such a relationship, because you could end up with someone much, much worse than that one.

So, in retrospect, the man I once, thought I was going to marry, was a more painful experience, well, relatively speaking.