You need some help. You are going through the grief of separation after a long-term marriage, and, are dealing with the size issue.

OK, now, let us do some exercises in being rational.

If your penis is indeed very small, then it is on the lower tail end of the normal distribution of penis size among males.

Therefore, most men would have penises that are bigger than yours. Most will be in the thick of the bell curve, and some will be on the opposite tail end of the bell curve. Draw a picture if that would help - draw the bell curve and position yourself towards the left tail end. See how much of the curve is to the right of "you"?

Now imagine that your wife left you for another man because he was funnier. Richer. Taller. Younger - or, any number of "er" - any number of other adjectives with in the comparative form.

So for the purposes of a hypothetical, let us say that the man is rich-ER.

What is the likelihood that the rich-ER man ALSO has a bigger penis. Very high - look at the picture again to see that most of the bell curve is to the right of you.

So the man is rich-ER and with a bigg-ER penis, but she left you for him because he is rich-ER, and your mind - given that the penis size is a long-standing problem of yours - interprets the event of her separating as a confirmation of the fact that your smaller penis is the culprit, overlooking the fact that the guy is rich-ER.

That, to the extent that it was your own assumption that she left for a man with a bigger penis.

If she actually verbalized it ("I am leaving for a man with a bigger penis. Ha!"), it STILL does not mean that she was telling you the truth. She might have been mad at your for something totally unrelated to sex, and, knowing your weak spot, she told you that she was leaving you for a man with a bigger penis. It was an act of aggression on her part - she aimed at your weak spot.

Why do you say that everybody knows your deep dark secret? Did the ex wife tell your circle of friends?

I prefer bigger penises (within reason - the ones in porn look ridiculous and stupid, rather than alluring) in how they look and how they feel to my hand, but my current partner is average and in the year that I have been with him, I have learned to appreciate the strength of his erections. I have come to realize that a smaller penis is just as able to become really hard from the blood flow, and I just enjoy it - say he puts my right hand on it, and I feel how hard he is - getting yet harder from my touching and caressing him - and that is fun enough for me. Intercourse is perfectly pleasant, too.

I am not saying that he is small - he is average - but to me, relative to my earlier men, he was small, and I have worked - intentionally - towards accepting it and finding it fun, and more or less I have succeeded. And, we do not have oral sex - neither do we want to, nor would it be a good idea safety-wise since we are not monogamous. If you add oral sex into the mix, as Secretum suggested, you will have even more ways of interacting with your girl sexually. So you should be OK.

You are asking how to find somebody to get past your being so sad and so little. You cannot change that you are little, but you can become less sad. I can tell you for sure that a fun, gregarious, bubbly guy would be well received socially no matter his penis size. But I do, do, do appreciate how much you have been hurt, especially if the ex wife actually said that she had left you for a bigger guy in order to hurt you.

Do you have children?