I have a boyfriend of 4 months now.
And I try talking to him.
But he can't really relate to the whole situation.
It seem since we put her in the nursing home,
That everything with her has become worse.
If I say "Hi Nana!" or say her name or atleast try to get her attention, she doesn't respond.
That was before her seizures though.
Her days and nights were always mixed, she'd always sleep during the day and awake at night.
My mom took care of her mostly but once a week I would take my moms job to take care of her like shower, clothing change, dinner, desert, and keep her occupied.
It's like taking care of a child.
But now my grandmother doesn't respond to anything, and when she looks at me she doesn't know who I am anymore.
It's just so hard seeing how things were less than a year ago.
And then thinking about how it was before all this started.
When I lost my dad's mother, 3 years ago, it was my first actual death that meant something to me.
And then the sad thing is, we never speak of her dying.
Or, when the date comes around that she died, no one mentions anything.
It seems like my family is trying to avoid the painful things.
But it just hurts me even more because I feel they don't care.

Thank you for everything Petunia!