Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn Skies
Why are you leaving T? I think the termination phase ideals written here are in the context of patients ending therapy for good, rather than leaving due to Ts retiring, moving, or other reasons.
Gratification given by a T with whom you've developed an intimate relationship might make it more difficult to separate. It's probably not a good idea for a T to be inconsistent with the boundaries either. That could be confusing.
...worried that she would think I'm needlessly indulging in them.
...she'll think why in the world are you telling me this?
...My T has said before that it's okay for me to keep secrets from her if I want to, so I'm afraid she thinks that I shouldn't tell her everything.
...she'll think why in the world are you telling me this?
...I am worried applies in my situation:
This definitely sounds like anxiety! The anticipation, going through all the possibilities, another person's potential thoughts running through your mind, indecisive. Sorry you are feeling so anxious.
Why do you think you are wanting to talk about the transference now? Maybe to help with closure?
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I won't be able to see my T anymore because she is at my college's counseling center and I'm graduating in May, so you're right that it's probably not exactly the same.
Thanks Autumn Skies, I see what you mean about gratification making the process more difficult. I know that I am easily affected by everything my T says and does. If she were to say something to "gratify" my desires, my emotional side would become confused and more invested in her, even if my intellectual side knows the actual intent of what she said.
I guess my statements do all convey anxiety! I was very worried about telling her exactly what I'm feeling. I spend a lot of time thinking about this sort of thing, and it's all well and good in my own head. To say it out loud makes it seem strange and concrete. Suddenly I feel like I play things up in my mind too much and I just need to be tough.
I do want to discuss my transference now because I know that I am going to be extremely depressed come graduation. It would be such a deep regret for me to be dealing with the pain of that loss and to know that I never told her how I actually feel. So even though I feel ridiculous or worried about doing this, I do think I need to tell her how I feel.