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Originally Posted by rainyday107
I think you made the right move by canceling the dinner. And it sounds like you are not a compatible couple and there have been past problems, as you said. Kudos to you to break it off.
I'm familiar with narcissists -my ex-husband and my brother. I can understand how a person can get unknowingly wrapped around their finger, be manipulated, etc. It's an awful thing but it sounds like your ex-boyfriend had that unfortunate dynamic with his sister. There is no room for a healthy relationship with you and him, in my opinion. He would need counseling, accepting who his sister really is, and creating extremely firm boundaries to protect your relationship and, his own self, IMO. I handled my situation by divorcing my narcissistic husband after many years and went "no contact" with my brother two years ago.
Stay strong and continue believing in yourself. =]
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Thank you very much for your input. I also believe that a lot of "us" who find ourselves involved with Narcissistic personalities, it's something within ourselves that lower ourselves, or our needs, in order to take care theirs.
IN time, we learn what we will tolerate, and what WE don't. These are steps of learning and living within aging and maturing. I've learned this. I will under no circumstances accept toxic people in my life...and lately, I see most ppl are either all about themselves, or just too stupid to stand up for themselves. Either way, I have no patience for either. I'd rather be alone where I know I love, respect, and appreciate myself as opposed to lowering my standards to be abused by someone else. Good luck to you as well. And thanks again for your reply.