Got a new flare with dots around the old bite. I'm tired as heck from a cold my friend gave me, but getting better I think I can maybe drag myself to the doc. I'm so scared they will dismiss me, I'm not so scared getting my life ruined by some disease that doesn't get treated, I'm nore scared of the mental pain of being a nobody again, something that doesn't matter and shouldn't be taken seriously.

If I go I can at least ask why my referral is missing and my old labs from my chronic illness checkup. I bet they know nothing about it and will look at me with that surprised face that tells me I'm both an idiot and something that shouldn't upset their schedule.

Sigh. And then someone from here told me what LOVELY health care we have....