The house on fire analogy you used was such a perfect one to use. At times when my mom will lie, deny, and manipulate my dad so she can shift the blame on me even though she DOES know that I know as well she is lying, it makes me think she is a sociopath because I would NEVER do that to my child! The only time she can manipulate my dad or whoever else in my family is when I'm not there to speak for myself. Fortunately, when my dad is standing right there when she's in the wrong she obviously can't manipulate him and play the victim as easily. But whenever I'm not around and I'm confronted later on by both of them together it sucks because it's 2 against 1 then. Out of all of us, meaning my brother and sister, I'm the only one who stands up to my mom which is good in a way but bad in a way bc they keep allowing her to be her narcissistic emotionally abusive self. I know I can't feel sad about that bc that is their choice to not stand up to her. My brother, sister and I have all spoken to each other about our mom bullying us but both of them are in relationships where their significant other has some identical qualities to my mom. i can be wearing a black shirt and my mom will manipulate everyone that I am really wearing a white shirt.
Im living with my parents right now bc of my arm situation which is good and bad. It's good bc I don't know if I would've realized as soon or at all that she has NPD. The bad is she can piss me off in the fact that I recognize all of her "ammo" and there are times when I just want to say I have figured her out but I know it's beyond pointless to do that. I'm just trying to snap myself out of that anger and find therapeutic humor in her behavior, if that makes any sense????