My old T was the same way. He always seemed to get me. yet he had no problem telling me when he felt I was out of line.
I didn't idolize him, though I also wondered what he thought of me. I even expressed those thoughts to him. I wondered if he thought I was a horrible, unstable mess of a person.
It was pointed out to me that he was attractive and only a few years older than me, but I never saw him that way. I needed a therapist not a date.
My new T that I'll be meeting in person for the first time on the 11th sounds legit, like he knows what he's doing. I hope he can help me the way my old T was, until I screwed up and started using. but not this time, this time I'm going to tackle my issues and ove forward.
I'm sure your T doesn't judge you harshly or anything. My old T said that he enjoyed his work, and so do the majority of people who choose to work with people like us.