tell him what you want him to do. if he can't or won't do it then it's best to realize that now and reconsider whether or not you should marry him. the thing is, i'm not sure that the people in life who hurt us are realistically the ones who can also bring healing & comfort. if they could, and had that sort of empathy, they probably wouldn't have hurt you in the first place. you may need to find healing from talking to friends or a counselor, etc. if he's truly sorry and works to not cause whatever the initial problem was again then that may be all you can realistically expect. and, it's actually quite a lot if he can stop doing it whatever caused the problem.