((((((((((((Jess)))))))))))
I'm sorry you have been feeling like this for quite some time now. I completely understand what you're saying about going from loving life for one day to hating it the next, and also about the SI'ing .... good for you to tell your mother, even if she wasn't that responsive, that took alot of courage. ALOT.
Do you have a counsellor at school that you could talk to? Or if you're not really into that, do you have any good friends or other relatives that you could confide in?
Welcome to PC though, you've come to a good place IMO.
Feel free to PM me anytime.
Jacq