It started to hit me after a trauma I went through.....now when stress gets to high, it seems to hit where before the trauma I never experienced it. It's the same thing as depersonalization is what my Pdoc said.......the first time it hit I was in the hospital with my mother who was dying of cancer right after the home care person abused her, I caught her stealing her ID, writing checks & OD'ed my mom on morphine.....then the home care person had the nerve to call the police & tell them I was abusing my mother.....didn't know what she might do next.....it was like I was watching the life I was in like a movie & really couldn't function by that point.....couldn't eat, sleep.....it was horrible.

After my mother died & I ended up treated in the medical hospital for the anorexia that hit......I was back out at the ranch with my foal that had been born just before this all hit......I remember I was separating hay to feed the horses....someone said something to me & I answered but it was like I was looking down on myself from the top of the feed room. I had no idea what I said in reply.....the whole conversation was going on & I had no idea how I knew the answer.......I excused myself & headed off to take care of something else....but that feeling didn't go away for the rest of the day & H had to stop at the grocery store.....wierd wandering through the grocery isles in that state......it was like I was looking at the stuff in the store but it wasn't really me doing it.

Have had it hit quite a few times since I left there & left my H....but the new surroundings have helped a lot.

It hit one time at a political rally I went to with a friend. Couldn't stand the crowd & being indoors...had to excuse myself & leave. Stood in the open doorway for the rest of the time.