Thanks ((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))))) for your support.

Sky, I think as she sees it since I've been getting more difficult to deal with (my coping mechanism for dealing with stuff is to be difficult to deal with and push people away ... I've never been able to really do it before with important people to me ) and that I'm not currently suicidal or self-injuring (which I've never really brought up since the first time I told her because I'm not "REALLY" doing it anymore) that she doesnt have the time to see me.

Idk.

Maybe I'm just a lost cause and completely helpless and useless and worthless.

NVM. I'm fine, I have to be.