> I emailed her all my complains and doubts about the process, she read it but said it will have "no value till I don't say it or read it out loud to her".

I would have walked out right then. If my best efforts aren't good enough for her then she isn't a good enough t for me. But then I do have a tendency to run... I figure that I've heard enough crap in my life to pay someone to hear still more of it, however.

> This sucks cause if I was able to talk these things with her I would...but I can't.

No %#@&#!.

> It's just the same story that with my last 2 therapists...so I guess it's me...but can't bring myself to get the courage to talk things out.

It doesn't mean that you aren't ready for therapy. Giving them stuff on paper can be really very hard. But you wrote it down. You gave it to them.

Sometimes people need to see around 9 or 10 therapists before they find someone they can click with.

Could you phone up some others and go and meet with them? You could treat it as your interviewing them to see whether they are right for you. You could ask them about how they feel about being given stuff on paper. In fact... I don't see why you couldn't write your questions down and give them to them and see how they go ;-)

You go to therapy. You write stuff down which shows you think about therapy outside therapy. You give stuff to your t as a gesture that you are really trying hard to talk about stuff that is hard for you.

I would have felt like t just threw that back in my face.

But then...

I have a tendency to run...