Dear Fighting Alone -- I feel the same way. As if I'm a highwire act with no safety net. Like you, people offer help for a little while, but they can't hang in for the long haul, and I don't blame them.

Would I want to be around me?

My brother left a phone message, screaming, "Kill yourself, just go ahead, do it." LIke so many people, he seems to think that this is some kind of act, being a "drama queen" and has no understanding of the lack of self-esteem, fatigue (partially from physical causes), age discrimination, having an illness that impedes putting in a 40-hour week. And just feeling so very alone.

I admire you for fighting, for finding little things to hold onto, the strategies that help.

Thanks for sharing, and please share again. My heart is so open to your despair, and the despair of others in this forum.