Lonely one -- I feel that way, too. Sometimes, even when I am not in cllinical depression but feeling what would be "pretty good" for me, I have trouble relating to positive experiences. I can't imagine, for example, jumping up and down or screaming on a game show because I'd won something.

I have been reading a lot about depression -- Dr. Tucker's book on this site recommends it -- and it seems that depression just sucks our ability to enjoy life right out of us.

Someone on another thread mentioned wouldn't it be great if we could pull the tapes with their negative messages out of our minds.

I say aye to that. I wish there was a brain or emotion implant -- not so that I would never feel pain or grieve or fear. This is part of the human experience. But so that I could feel peaks of joy as great as the depths of depression and depair. And I'm really not sure that I ever do experience those mountaintops.

So lonelyone, you are not alone in having this experience. But I think it is great that you went anyway, for you as well as to let the kids enjoy themselves.,