I understand what you mean and I too don't understand why there is this attitude that BPD is a certain set of symptoms that always display in a certain way. It's much more complex than that. As I understand it though, sufferers are still able to retain a level of functionality - perhaps that's one of the things observers find harder to understand, how can we keep going in spite of everything that happens? Perhaps that's what fuels the view that we're just attention seekers or drama queens or whatever other stupid and insensitive term that gets lobbied at us.

I would focus on going directly to those in the know if you can, a lot of therapists have a very limited understanding of what BPD actually is and I hate to say it but some of them just don't like it being known that they don't have training in a more specialist area. It's usually more of a reflection on them than you so try not to worry too much there. I really hope you can get in touch with someone better qualified, good luck.