There have been some pretty awful things in my family--including my ancestors also-like inbreeding, lots of sexual abusive, violence, etc. I have even wondered if there was a curse put on my family thousands of years ago. But, we cannot help or control what our relatives, whether distant or not, have done. We cannot undo anything that's already been done. We can only go forward from this moment on and do our best.

That being said, I also know how hard it is to grapple with SI. I struggle with on a regular basis. One thing that always bothers me is that I did not grow up in a "functional" family; I've cried about it often.

One book that I read years ago was called "For The Sins of My Father." I don't remember the author's name, but it's a true story. The guy who wrote it was raised by a man who was in the mafia. He loved his father very much, and in many ways his father was a good father--he always provided for his family, and loved his family very much, but then he had this secret life and had murdered many people, ran a prostitution ring, sold drugs, etc. Well, his father was murdered and found in a trunk; the author talked about how he kept feeling that he was bound to be just like his dad, and that he was "stuck." But he kept trying his best to live a good life, and eventually things just fell into place, and he realized, that he did have a choice. It's a really good book.

p.s. no, I do not think it's a crime or sin to need help or seek it out.