it sounds like you have lived a very stressful life and have done much to get yourself back on track. the question is, how much more stress do you want? do you want to continue to live life with this abuse targeted at you? it is one thing to have the companionship and the nice things he does, but if the negative things he does far outweigh it, do you really need that in your life? is your happiness more important? perhaps a pro/con list is in order to help you make a decision as to what you want to do with your future. take care.