it is so hard when we have fragments of memories and symptoms that lead us to believe something happened but no concrete evidence that something happened. what I did was just accept that something happened to me without knowing what, knowing that my mind is doing its best to protect me from the trauma I felt I didn't need to remember the details. I just needed to deal with the symptoms I am experiencing today as a result of my past traumas. I gave up a long time ago trying to remember what happened to me. I wasted so many years searching for my past and it made me miserable. I didn't need that in my life any more. I got better when I let go of trying to remember. take care.