Try not to beat yourself up. There was a reason you did what you did, I'm not making excuses but it definitely was a reason. You needed something to get you through.

I've gone in after a few drinks before, fully compos mentis but tipsy. I never even thought of it as disrespectful - I'd simply been having champagne on the heath with friends on a summer afternoon one Sunday and my session was that evening. My T didn't mention it. Don't know if she knew I'd consumed booze to be honest. So I don't think drink or smoke is automatically disrespectful to your T. You're human, you're not always perfectly behaved.