At the beginning of my sessions with this new T, she bought me a journal to write in in between sessions, she suggested i bring it in for her to read if i wanted, she even bought an extra one so that the week she took home the first diary, i wouldn't be left without one to write in, so every week we swap journals and she takes home the one with the newest stuff i've written.

She's been concerned by how bad i've been feeling at home and instead of contacting her which she said i should, i've just been writing in my diary. I told her i didn't want to reach out to her in between sessions. It's a trust thing but also i don't want to rely on her at all, i want to learn to self-soothe, be self-sufficient. But this week she's suggested not doing the journal thing, unless i really have something i need to discuss in session. She said it was because i'm doing a lot of work at home (art work and writing) but struggling in session to do any art. But i'm also wondering if she's taking away the journal thing as a way to push me into contacting her when i feel so bad instead of isolating myself???

If that's the case i'm not sure how i feel about that. But i've been feeling really irritated with her all week since that session.