listen you!

i want to hear fighting talk coming from those fingers, ok! you are not a lost cause, never have been, never will be. she has reduced the times to see you individually as she will be seeing you as a group, therefor she thinks its safe to keep an eye on you in a group. you can always ask her to re-consider if you need to.

you are doing great, and i am so proud of you for fighting so hard, so long. happiness will reach you soon enough, i promise. like sky said, just stop chasing it.

work on getting better, dealing with your issues, and deal with depression like you have been, and happiness will come into your life for sure. imagine it this way, if you will:

imagine a window looking out into the world. a big, square window. you are inside, and this represents your mind and body, the outside is obviously the rest of the world. the window is the window to your soul. over time it has become dirty, a build up of allsorts, negativity and pain mainly. and it has caused your window to become black, shutting out the light. you have begun cleaning your window, but the layers of pain and hurt is making it harder and longer to clean. but the sunshine (happiness) is just the other side of this blackness, waiting to shine in. all you need to do is keep cleaning. sometimes you will get glimpses of happiness from where you clean a spot of black off the window, but it can easily get covered up again. so you use more strength and more time to clean the window, and it will in time clean up nicely, letting the warmth of the world shine in to your soul and make you feel enlightened and happy.

abit wierd imagery i know, but if you close your eyes and imagine that well, imagine the black on the window. imagine the picturesque world outside, with bright warm sunshine, and flowers, and everythign that you consider happy and beautiful. imagine that, and imagine you cleaning the windo, and as you imagine yourself cleaning this window, try to imagine you mentally cleaning out all the bed negative stuff inside your mind. try it regularly, and let me know wht you think.

keep your chin up my friend, it will get better. let me know if theres anything i can do ok. im just the other end of a pm, or a convo away on msn!!

simon