My goodness LymaBeane, you sound almost exactly like me. You and I are about out the same age. I will be 57 next month. I have recently been reminiscing that it was 40 years ago at this time when I met a girl that I was really in love with and she felt the same way about me. Back then the relationship had ended within a few months and I never found someone like her after that.

I too am afraid of growing old alone. I think that a lot of us around our age are feeling that way. I only have one good friend going for me and that's it. He's busy a lot, so I don't get to see him that much. As far as having any kind of companionship for me, it's looking very bleak. Oh and by the way, I have never been married and no kids. Also my family that I have left after my parents have passed away, are split up.

Just this morning my sister called me. She was telling me to just keep on praying and someone will come along! Well, I have heard this for over 30 years and it gets old to hear that. She was being very positive and meant well, but I feel like she didn't realize how much she was hurting me. Also she had Christmas music on and is all enthused about Christmas. I will be spending Christmas alone and have for many years. It's like why don't you feel good that you are being blessed while someone you are talking to is suffering already!

I had been thinking that if I have some kind of diagnosis with a disease, I would just rather let it go. Why would I want to get treatments and stuff just so I can be kept alive and be old and alone. And not well. At where I live, I see lots of old men walking around all by themselves and they don't look too happy. I don't want that to look forward to!