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Syra · Dec 07, 2013 at 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

I don't have a sense of her wanting to rescue. But she has been concerned as to why i i won't contact her when i'm feeling that bad. But my reasoning is not wanting to become dependant on a therapist, trying really hard just to get thru it on my own, so that i don't have to be let down.
I think the work at home and journal writing serve to stop me from getting so uncomfortable with my feelings that i need to reach out, but i would have thought that's a good thing? I don't think it brings any growth particularly, it just helps titrate the pain i'm feeling. But you'd think it would be useful for her to know what's going on for me during the week by reading in my diary. Now she's not going to know cos i won't bring it up in session.

What I think of as you talk is how little babies learn to trust. If babies cry and the adults don't respond to them, they don't learn to trust as much. But if the parents/caregivers attend to the baby, they learn that people will be there to help them, so they actually cry less than babies "taught" to "cry it out." And most babies get the opportunit to learn how to self-soothe because the logistics of families is such that parents can't always come immediately, no matter what their intention or goal. I wonder if your T thinks you would grow more if you had more support, rather than relying on yourself all the time? Just an idea that comes to mind. I'm not suggesting that I know this is what is happening.

I was so afraid of violating boundaries that I've resisted contact between sessions - but I wasn't invited to contact like you were. I don't know what he would have said if I asked for more contact. I suspect some would have been okay. I was so afraid cuz of my experience with the exT. I'm trying to think if it would have helped, or made me more dependent if I called between sessions. I don't know.