Quote:
Originally Posted by Syra
What I think of as you talk is how little babies learn to trust. If babies cry and the adults don't respond to them, they don't learn to trust as much. But if the parents/caregivers attend to the baby, they learn that people will be there to help them, so they actually cry less than babies "taught" to "cry it out." And most babies get the opportunit to learn how to self-soothe because the logistics of families is such that parents can't always come immediately, no matter what their intention or goal. I wonder if your T thinks you would grow more if you had more support, rather than relying on yourself all the time? Just an idea that comes to mind. I'm not suggesting that I know this is what is happening.
I was so afraid of violating boundaries that I've resisted contact between sessions - but I wasn't invited to contact like you were. I don't know what he would have said if I asked for more contact. I suspect some would have been okay. I was so afraid cuz of my experience with the exT. I'm trying to think if it would have helped, or made me more dependent if I called between sessions. I don't know.
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I fear that if i was to take up her offer i would become dependant, my attachment style is anxious/preoccupied, i'm not sure i'd ever achieve a secure attachment to her, it would take a long and very bumpy ride to get that secure attachment and who knows if she's "man enough" to stay the course
or if she'll just dump me like the other therapist did.