My 'exhaustion', ever feel, like you've been sleepwalking, but awake? 6 months, after my third baby was born, brings us, to summer time. I was waking up to the reality, that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, with my then husband. Three kids, oldest barely out of diapers, mom calls me, talks me ear off, each morning, then my 'husband'(for intents and purposes of this one) is calling me, a couple times an hour, while he's off working 50-60 hours a week, and I am home, no car, sort of new to my town, no job. Mind, you, for this, I'd yet to have MS tossed my way, so it's a hot summer, I am connecting on a support group, and personalizing a bit, as can happen on line. And, many sleepless nights, many arguments, with the ex, struggling to keep up with his house cleaning demands, change diapers, chase babies/toddlers/preschooler around. Hearing over and over and over again, all about his co-worker and her life story.
Watching tv one night, was having what I know now, to be heart palpitations, and you know, when you are half asleep and the tv fades in and out, some times, it's really loud? 'There's something wrong with the Queen's Heart.'
(ummmm, what was that?--getting really nervous, because, yeah, what's wrong with my heart, anyways? Mom calls, next day, mom, it was really strange, last night, but I'm just sitting there and the tv gets really loud, and that's what I heard. Mom, I feel like I'm dying, I can hardly move....mom, there's something strange, going on on-line, this one, here, reminds me, of my ex bf. Mom, I was just online last night, and this site pops up, talking about this man and losing his wife in '97, and how she's borderline and he wants nothing more than to find her and something about san diego and telecommunications...mom, did someone hack my computer?! I broke up with the ex, in 97! Or mom, could it be that guy I hooked up with in 97?? Which is it? Who is it?! And what's going on...

Mom, is it possible, that site, I go to, though anonymous, why are some people around me, talking that talk?

So, one night, I decided to start praying. Either I'm dying, or...I am about to die. It was like walking in a fog, haze, tunnel vision.

So...yeah, anxiety, depression, that's it? Because, mom starts thinking I'm having some type of amnesia, after one night, I grabbed my baby books, ex was upstairs, and I felt, this life, like this, cannot keep going on. So I'm texting to my bff, telling her, I just don't feel good, do you believe in god, and tell me something, do I call the ER? I knocked on a couple doors, not knowing what I was going to ask, but the third door, it was. Old friends, now adult son answered. I didn't ask, much more than, um, hi..um...do you need spiritual healing? Then no, And Im like, ok, have a good night...elderly man, says, it's a little late to be walking the kids, and I said, yes, I need to go home now. Get home, ex is freaking out on me.

Then, next day or day after, took the kids, to play outside, in the heat, had this little back yard, not fenced in, real tiny and one starts off down the street, I've about all I can do, three little kids and me, to chase after them...go to knock on neighbors door, for help...can you help me, get back home...who starts coming up the street but my husband. Guy asks, do you know him? no.
why didn't you recognize me? my vision is cloudy, I need to call the doctor.

and so, I ended up with my MS dx..and future referral to my pdoc...

yep...hence, their desire to label me, insane. the non medical community, well, the small faction of these relatives...