I apologize and don't want to make anyone sad. I think us baby boomers are having it harder growing old because we were the young hip generation of the 60s and 70s with rock and roll and times seemed so innocent compared to today. There were drugs then of course but now there are worse drugs; one in particular actually rots your insides out and you end up having crocodile skin and you die in 2 years when you use it. They are taking all kinds of chemicals to make drugs; I would not want to be a young person in this time. Only in the 70s, not today. I did one positive thing today and I dyed my hair which I haven't done in almost 2 years. The white and gray made the rest of my hair look dull and flat and no shine or color. I won't know if it looks good until Monday at work then I will see what they say. If they say nothing that means they had nothing good to say.
Today I felt very down and what made me saddest is that at one time I lived in a family with 3 sisters and we interacted on a daily basis. Yes we fought and argued at times. Then I had my daughter who I raised. Then when she got married and had the kids, I was needed to babysit so on a weekly basis I saw them all. And on a daily basis I got a few 10 minute phone calls from my daughter. All that stopped in July 2012 when her and I became estranged and at the same time her marriage was falling apart; we have since made peace but it's not the same. Now I get a text from her on Saturday to tell me she is bringing my youngest granddaughter and then on Sunday I get another text telling me she is picking her up and that's it. So my youngest grandchild right now is family I have left but I know one day she will outgrow it so I see it as temporary.

I appreciate all the replies I got on this forum and I know I am not the only one going through this. I think I was ok when I was needed by my family. I need my mother now more than ever and she passed away 15 years ago. One day my daughter might need me and I hope it won't be too late for her.