Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemystery
My time with my T is coming to an end in a few months, so I've been getting into the difficult territory of my transference with her to get everything out. I've only ever given her generalized statements of my feelings. Last session felt extremely uncomfortable because it seems so weird to talk openly about my feelings for her when I've always kept them private. I got worried that she would think I'm needlessly indulging in them. Maybe I don't have a reason to actually tell her just how bad my transference is, and she'll think why in the world are you telling me this? My T has said before that it's okay for me to keep secrets from her if I want to, so I'm afraid she thinks that I shouldn't tell her everything.
I found this quote in an article from Psychology Today ( http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...he-same-skills) that I am worried applies in my situation: " The therapist anticipates the termination phase of therapy by continually encouraging the independent development of healthy autonomy in clients. Excessive dependency or attempts by clients to seek gratification from the therapist are discouraged."
I don't understand what the article meant by clients seeking gratification, and it doesn't further discuss this. In this context, what do you think that means? Where is the line between talking about transference and seeking gratification? I want to make sure this isn't what I'm doing...
Also, is simply wanting to talk about transference enough of a reason to do so? What if you already know why you have these feelings? |
If your therapist is open and caring, then you can talk about whatever, including transference.
As far as that quote, I'm not quite sure. One meaning is that the therapist would slowly stop giving you what you been getting in the past, when you were less autonomous. Think of parent child relationship. Children get a lot of things from their parents (or at least should). As they grow older, the parents will stop giving them some of those things, either intentionally (to help the child separate) or unintentionally (just don't feel like behaving the same towards the now older child anymore).
Hopefully this coincides with the child also not wanting to get gratification from parents. So the child makes friendships outside home and develops a life of his own. In more tragic cases it's when a parent is dying or leaving permanently for whatever reason, a child is pushed into a life of her own earlier than ready. But it's done for good reasons. The parent simply won't be there and the child needs to become independent in order to survive.
Obviously not the same in many ways, but somewhat similar process is going on in separation in therapy. The therapist gratifies some of your desires earlier in therapy. But at some point, towards the end, less and less of them might be gratified. You won't be rejected. But you won't get, say, as much validation as you used to. It can be difficult, especially if you don't feel ready or if you feel you're being pushed. As a child my dad pushed me too hard to develop independence. I interpreted it as rejection.