Hey...I'm back to write some more...at least you guys don't say it has no value!!

Maybe it came out like it was something really harsh she did...but if you REALLY ask me it wasn't that bad. I mean, those were her actual words, but the thing is that I usually spend must of my sessions mute and the write all of this stuff and send it to her.

I think what she meant was something more like "ok I've read it, but if you have to bring it up and be able to talk about it or at lease read it"...

She is very "tough" sometimes...cause she knows I don't work if not...and also that I have a history of manipulating my t's and getting no work done at all.

With my last t, we sort of got into an "the unspokable" where I will write things down and hand it to her but told her not to talk about it because I couldn't handle it. So basically we both knew what was going on but never talked about it out loud --I had lots of transference issues w/ my previous..

Anyways...I still have this feeling of not being ready for therapy. Like..I'm gonna see her this week...and I'm really looking forward to that..but I know I will show up and be silent and defiant...not on purpose...it just comes out that way.

Any thoughts?