I'm not sure that sense of being real has anything to do with your perspective/actions. I think that Ts have to--and should be-- very careful in the beginning. They need to observe and form a working sense of what your needs are and how best to help you before they can relax into the security of that knowledge. Once they do, then that security allows them to know better how to engage with you. The "real" self they are with you is different from the "real" self they are with another client. I don't mean to imply that these are fake selves because they're not (at least with a good T); just different slices of themselves. They're all genuine, but in different ways.

Countertransference may play a part, but not necessarily in a bad way. It can be a source of info about the client, and it can be appropriate to share, rather than hide or avoid. It just depends upon the client and situation.

But there is a feeling of this "realness" upping the ante in terms of a shift: the professional distance may have shrunk, and the intensity increased. That very slight flutter of panic can be a good sign that something is happening emotionally. It may feel scary, but it may also be opening the door to growth. The ice defense melting.