i have been through the panic, fight, flight, and now freeze reactions to triggers. i'm still struggling with the anger and the freeze modes. but i can say that allowing them to happen without beating myself up helps. "no more self-abuse", is my new motto. hopefully that abstaining from lashing out will help me with others too.

it is essential that one is exposed to the traumatic memories, for them to be unempowered and desensitized. i think that it's better to do it deliberately, remembering over and over until it doesn't matter,, each time reassuring myself that there was some good to come of that experience, i am me. and i like who i am. and if that's what it took to make me, then there was some good in it. also i say, that's over now, this isn't happening anymore... i can stop responding to it as if it were real. and also, i replace those trauma memories, which are strong, with happy memories, which are much weaker, but more healthy.

best wishes in your recovery~
Gus