I don't know if I feel that I can ever be "fixed", but I have a much different perspective on healing than I used to. I know now that healing is possible-- maybe not complete, but the kind of healing that leads to a good life-- happiness and fulfillment in work, relationships, parenting with joy and compassion. A good life is possible.

There are some unusual trees along the seashore in a particular spot on the Northern California coast. It's very windy on the beach, and on the rugged cliffs overhead. I think it's the windiest spot in North America. The trees on the cliffs grow like upside down 'U's, bent by the force of the wind. They are beautiful, unusual, and having a good life there. Would they be taller, reaching towards the sun rather than the ground, if they were elsewhere? Most likely. Does it matter? I don't think so.

The other thing I've learned about being "bent" rather than "broken" (as Pink would say) is that I have come to appreciate that some of the best things about myself were developed as responses to my crappy childhood. I am grateful that my childhood bent me in the directions I have gone, rather than some others that would have been less satisfying. So I think you have to be able to see not only the wounds, but also the strengths that resulted from them.