Death*drugs*divorce.. that pretty much sums up life for me for the last 9 years. I am here in hopes of finding sound support. I have been married to one man for 27 years, I have 2 grown children, and lost a third when she was 16 to A.L.L. cancer,which she had a relapse from when she was 11. Oldest daughter 2 months after started using heroin, continued until incarcerated 2 years ago. She is now 26 and had her first baby, my first grandchild in July of this year. My deceased daughter was the middle child, then I have a 22 yr old grown son, who also started using heroin about 6 months following his sisters habit. My husband came out saying his was a addict of prescription drugs and i had no idea at all!! He was using them while we were serving a church service mission. I was blind sided. I flt betrayed and left. Both my kids had moved out on their own, my husband and I have been separated for over a year, just getting back together recently. He blames me for breaking up the family and leaving when he needed me most. I blame him for tearing our family apart by his selfish act of using. Needless to say, we don't really like each other any more. There isn't a day that I'm not verbally abused. He has stopped providing for me and basically only does what is necessary. I had to get a job after being a full time mom and wife most of my life, qualified to do nothing. So I make very little money, yet he continues to opt out of life. I understand his mental status right now, but life doesn't stop.. the bill collectors still call.. It has gotten so bad that I have chosen to file for divorce. The problem I have is being alone. Im sure it will all work out for the best, whatever that is.. Im a deeply religious person and have great faith in my higher power... I am at the very beginning of the filing process. He is accepting of it, but is playing extremely nice so I done really know whats going on in his head. I know im in for a long emotional ride, I appreciate any suggestions for coping.