We celebrated my pap's birthday yesterday. Mostly family and a few family friends. It was a lot of fun. I drank though, a lot. I've noticed I've been drinking more often but usually it isn't much. Last night though, it was a party so I partied. I know it wasn't responsible of me, but that's what happened.

I feel really out of it today. It wouldnt be hard to fall back asleep and this coffee isn't doing anything for me. I have things that need done but no will to do them. I got a new pet rat recently and I've just been hanging out with her while she runs around the bed and nests in my hoodie. It feels good not being alone, pets are so therapeutic. Fiance is at work, Brother visiting friends, parents at the mall doing some holiday shopping.

I feel like if she wasnt keeping me.company I wouldve already went back to sleep.

I also couldnt find my lamotrigine last night because I was too drunk. If anyone remembers my previous predicament, I was able to get 5 from the pharmacy for $20 and have been taking then in halves waiting for ny insurance's mail order pharmacy to send me more. Other than that things are normal, taking my wellbutrin like I'm supposed to.

I'm not sad or anything. I just feel nothing. It's such a weird day.