Quote:
Originally Posted by trekeegirl
I think it's more 'cause my mom has become so dependent on me to do work around the house for her. I have been doing A LOT of chores around the house since I was 8 years old!! My brothers are starting to pick up some of them, when I am not at home, but I REALLY LOVE MY fiancee-Broncos38-and want to move in with him ASAP!! I really am getting fed up with the way my mother treats me at home, then when I try and tell her how I feel she turns things around on me. My FATHER is even afraid to confront her, he normally just lets things go, but when he tried to intervene today during the argument on several occasions, he ended up showing how scared he is to approach my mom about things. This often makes me feel like I'm getting punished for speaking up to my mom, because like me; the rest of the household is afraid to approach her or disagree with her.
We used to be a really tight-knit family, now it seems we are falling apart because I speak my mind about anything.
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Don't look at it, as a punishment, even though it classifies as punishing behavior. Sounds, like your family dynamics, have been structured around tiptoeing around your mom. Your expressed desire to move, is crushing her 'imagined world'. Sounds like, a parent, that has had a most difficult time, letting her children grow up and leave. Which could be part of her own baggage. I'm not sure what type of childhood your mom has had.
It's ironic, that she's babied your epilepsy, at the same time, has had you performing chores, most of your life. Kids weren't designed to be their parents caretakers.
Have you done any outside self-help, in discovering the dynamics of being raised in dysfunction? It's usually, referred to, as being an 'Adult Child'. Sounds, like, you may have grown up, too fast, in the sense that you were expected to do adult chores, as a child; not sure, how else, but that's something to explore in therapy.
It's not easy, overcoming the after-effects of being a child that had an overbearing parent. It's never easy. On the one hand, you can see the goodness, on the other hand, you can see where it's not fair, not being able to be allowed to grow into the adult, that you were meant to grow into!
And, Congrats, saw, Broncos38's post, about Tuesday and your new apartment!!
Let the healing begin, from there.