Honestly I agree with you if it were individual therapy and I appreciate your POV. I have given her feedback but it is really them that are trying to change me in a way I am not comfortable with. Plus if someone is flat out saying they think you are whatever it is they don't like without any real examples i can't really give them much weight.

My concern with regard to her 8 years is related to group dynamics rather than her health. Because she has been there the longest I think she dictates the energy of the group more than she should. We meet once a week. I think that people get used to people when they spend a few years together whether it be work or marriage or therapy. After a time you get used to people's bad habits so much you don't even see them anymore. IOW I think T is biased.

The group members changed in the past year. 2 left and 4 joined. I was thrilled because I can relate so much better with these people and I wanted the fresh perspective but over time they seem to shut down too. One said she it was the dynamic of the group (surprise!). One has already left and I think one will put in her 6 months and leave too. I really connected with the one that left and I miss her a lot. I had told my private T several months ago that her being there was the only draw for me. I think that is even more true now and she only left two weeks ago.

Thank you for your feedback.