Hey again,

Please take a look at my original post for some back-story.

I want help. No. I need help. I have schizophrenia, borderline, and depression in my family and I am scared. I had a brief episode of Self-Harm last year, in which i completed the minimum amount of counselling required to be admitted back into my high school. It was an ugly episode of self harm and "ruined my mothers reputation as a teacher". So she didnt want me to continue counselling. She said "You dont need it. Lets just put it behind us and never speak of it again." Awesome.

So anytime something along the lines of Mental Health is brought up it gets real awkward real fast. I live a fairly solid life. Brief (3 year) poverty including some other hiccups mention in the post above (click here). My sister is two years younger than me, I am 16), therefore she looks up to me alot and I know I hurt her with my self harm and set a precedence that its okay. Well it's not, not for her. I cant let her be like me.

Now my mom is remarried and we are much more financially sound. Until my stepdad got laid off two weeks ago.

He is a finance manager for a branch of Bank of America and is very frugal and smart with his money, a quality I lack hahah, so were okay for the next 6 months or so, also he has some life savings we can dip into in the emergency that he doesn't have a new job within 6 months.

My problem is seeking help. How can i seek help if the impenetrable wall, meaning intolerable...for me, of awkwardness between my parents, pain and confusion I would cause my hormonal and emotional 14 year old sister, and the financial burden I would add to my step dad and mom is standing in my way of help?

Sorry if the post is hard to follow, it takes me forever to write these freaking things. I cant think straight or control my thoughts, If anyone could tell me why that'd be awesome too haha.

Trippy