I am defining "emotional intelligence" as this: when someone feels: me, me, it should all be about me... all the attention should be on me, whatever is going on should be for my benefit... it's an emotional child.
When someone feels that he wants others to be happy, to find some compromise in the situation, then this person is emotionally more mature (aka: intelligent).

Understanding is the sign of intelligence. So, when you emotionally understand what's going on and seek the best under the circumstances for all concerned, then that's emotional intelligence. I think I have it in some areas, and don't have it in others. Or maybe it's not about having or not having, it's about being a child emotionally or being an adult about it.