There are other forums that could help you with ideas for what coping skills could be used for different symptoms. Use this website as a resource for ideas, since in-person doesn't sound like its going to happen.

I too have fantasized about my death. So far that hasn't happened. It is possible to live with any type of disorder. I am glad that you have take in some time to look up what it is, and you may want to try some different coping skills that are listed. Not all work for a person, but if you keep trying things can improve.