I recently cheated on my boyfriend of two months. I was drinking and my body wouldn't say no while my head did but my lips never spoke. He didn't do anything wrong. My personal demons came back haunting me. I woke up the next morning I woke up and realized what I had done, there was an instant overwhelming sadness and guilt because of it. Now every night when I try to sleep all I can do is think about the pain and damaged I've caused. Knowing I broke my first love's heart. I feel like I should never fall in love again. If he chooses to leave me. Which is possible because it still hasn't sunken in fully yet with him.