Why about your DH allowing you to heal yourself independent of him as this is not a group project? My W had those same feelings, like she was being left out... But we were able to talk about it and come to the agreement that I would involve her on a needed basis after all some secrets are ok to just keep between you and your T ( as a sounding board of sorts ), W didn't tell me everything little thing about her all the time so there was no need for her to have that power over me.