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Thank you, everyone. Much has transpired. I am in need of more advice.
I tried to assist with helping the younger sister. There were a few things that happened. 1 – there were several moments in the process where it was very clear to me that she has definite feelings that go beyond friendship for my husband. I didn’t react to it right away, but later told my husband what had happened and my impression from it. I regret telling him but was feeling like he and I were getting back on track and able to speak openly with each other. I should have known better because he was still much closer to the younger sister than he was to me and he ended up telling the younger sister everything that I had expressed to him. 2 – my efforts to help would not have been received in the right way because my husband has been confiding in the younger sister for a very long time… venting to her about his wife who is abusive to him. He told me that she would never want to be my friend anyway because she thinks I am a bad person.
We began a therapeutic separation and went through several counseling sessions. Counselor has history working with substance abusers. Counselor was very open with me on his opinion that my husband was hard to work with and not being a good husband to me because he was outside the marriage with the other woman. I ended up completing divorce paperwork and threatened to file it unless he told girl that in order for them to be friends – she would need to reach out to me and try to have a friendship with me… because he wants to work out his marriage and as his friend, she should understand and hopefully be willing to help. She refused to foster friendship with me. They are no longer speaking (according to my husband). She has come back and said she will think about it. Husband then told me he wanted me to stop seeing the counselor because he is bad for our marriage (counselor encouraged me to file divorce) and my husband thinks that counselor has feelings for me.
Now husband is back at home and we are working together to make our relationship better. I give him cards, say sweet things, touch him, hug him, kiss him… he does nothing in return. I tell him I am excited to spend more time with him and he responds with “when can I go fishing?” He is not home 5 nights a week… out fishing.
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