Hi. I'm 27 years old and i never had sex. Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high scool. Years were flying by and here we are - 27. You will probably say go out and find somebody, but the problem is also those thaughts that are taking all my will to live away. I cant deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no kissing, no sex, no one night stands, relationship, travelling. All things that for most people are normal. Because of that i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel they all are much better then me, on higher level and i'm not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others, was almost all the time at home and work.
The problem is, i can't look on women i find attractive as same human as men. For me women body is art, in every pose (probably comes from porn and idealizing and wanting to lick their bodies all the time). And i cant come over this...and when i add that those beautiful bodies had so much fun and sex so far, there is no chance to feel the same worth, ever frown.png It doesnt even care what they think, it just this way if you see objectivly simple facts and statistic what they done and what i, so far.
Its terrible if i go into the shopping center and see in 2 hours hundreds of women with which i would like to have sex and i know i didnt have such interesting past as them. Those thoughts are eating me up every single day, all day. I was also at therapist, but didnt help. Also i take antidepressants. But nothing cant take away the facts, that i'm not on same level as those girls who are having sex since highschool, were on so many parties and so on. For them its normal to have a penis in their hands or mouth, for me this is science fiction and somebody who is 12 years behind in my opinion can never again be same worth as person who alived all those things in normal years (18-24). Sex is the highest thing in live and if you dont have it you havent lived. Therefor i dont know what to do, because there is no way out to feel the same worth as those people anymore, that have normal sex live since their high school. To be honest, the best would be this life would be over and i could sleep forever, to not have this fact thoughts every day...