I am going to go .I just don't know how it will go .I hope she just knows me well enough to know I just don't want to deal with that kind of stuff in T. I hate dealing with any kind of relationship stuff between us .like me getting frustrated that I showed up and how pathetic I must have looked to everyone . you know the client who is so needy she shows up even when T is sickk etc... I try to never talk about any feelings I have towards her and what she does .it wouldn't change anything and a bug humiliating waste of time .if I am going to try and talk to her I always feel it should be something that is use full and can maybe change in my life not about weather my T loves me or cares . and that kind of attachment stuff .it don't change anything .best ignored and not talked about . to her I just want to be someone who shows up and pays and gives her no problems .invisible .not always so good at that though