Why can't i ever move on? Why can't i leave the past where it belongs in the past, and stop holding on to these feelings.

I "see" my Housemother wherever i go. I see a car that looks even remotely similar to hers i think "Is that her? Is she here?" I see an older blonde woman and think its her. I'm asked to think about a special moment in my life, i think of her. I'm asked to write about a meangingful connection/relationship in my life and i think of her. I go to bed and see her in my dreams ... I can't excape myself.

I hate the fact that i let anyone affect me this much ... i barely even talk to her yet i can't get her out of my mind ... why do i feel the need to have this mother figure so close to my heart all the time ... because all it is doing is giving me heartache rather then comforting me like it use to.

I know this sounds trivial, and i know that "in time" it will fade ... but i don't see that happening. I dont want that to happen ... i can't let her slip away from my life, yet i know i can't keep dwelling on this.

I dont know what to do anymore ...