hello my story goes like this---
i had a few bouts of Pleurisy in 2005 and was in hospital over night twice (doesnt sound like a lot i hear you say, but it felt like my world was ending) while i was in the second time the doctors said they thought i had a colapsed lung, that scared me witless. come to find out it hadnt but i was kept in for the night for them to run more tests.
i think that is when i started to become depressed, later the same year i left my wife and 4 kids, and a relationship with my wifes best friend started, this wasnt the best move i have ever done but at the time i thought i knew what i was doing, i think this lasted for about 2 months, when she dumped me via text message, my life felt meaningless, and that is when i od'ed the first time, for i had lost everything my wife my kids and this woman.
while i was in hospital i refused help from the hospital staff for so long that they had to ask my brother to give them the nod to help me, ( i was 15 minutes away from death) when i came to i was surprised to see a visitor there standing next to my brother, it was my wife, she had rushed down to the hospital when she could of easily just turned her back on me.
since then i have attempted to end my life once more and the feelings of dread and darkness still come over me from time to time.
2 years on and i am back with my wife and children who forgave me for all the %#@&#! i put them though. (please dont hate me, as i hate myself every day for what i have done)
i am on tablets for depression even though im not allowed to pick my tablets up myself at the moment. but one day i am hoping to be able to pick them up myself, and with the support i get from my family and here on pc, i am fighting every day to find my answer.

that was hard to write as im not a great talker and i find it hard to express myself openly, i find poetry a better format to open up..